Eugene's Substance
Hello? Hello? Hi. Yeah. It's Dusty Staccato. Who you gonna vote forrr, dude? Who am I gonna vote for? What do you care? I'm Dusty Staccatooo, bud. You listen to ''me.'' Listen to you? Yeah. Yeah, okay, I can hear you. You checked me out, doot. Alright? Petey? Yeah? Gotta be Petey. Yes, uh, sir. No it's not. Who are you voting for? Dude, don't call my fucking phone, dude. Tell me now. Who'm I votin' for? These nutz. Who? These nutz. Listen up, man. Don't try to push me around. Am I supposed to be around? I'm 'onna push you... downtown. laughs Who is this, man? Larry. Yeah? I'm... Spicy Legato. Have you been callin' my phone, fool? Hell no. Is this Petey? Yep. Is it? Yuuup. Petey, is that you? Why don't you help a brother? laughs Help a fellow brother. --- Hello? Hello? Yeah, hello? Hello! Hello? Fucker - -- Hello. Hey, it's Eugene. Eugene. What's happenin'? What are you doing? Where are you going? Going to vote. Hey Eugene, do I know you? Do you know me? Yeah. I'm Larry. W-why you fuckin' with me, dude? This is Pete, isn't it. Is this Petey? You smilin' right now? Sh-''' It is you, isn't it, fucker. 'I got -' You called me, and havin' me freakin' out, man, not knowin' who it is, says you're goin' to vote and shit. What's up with that, dude? '''I gotta cast my vote, dude. Oh, you gotta cast your vote! I'm 'onna -''' What do you want, dude? 'I'm 'onna - ' What's happenin.? '''- cast my fist. God, dude, you were freakin' me out for about the first ten calls. You -''' Then I was gettin' pi- pissed. 'You're pissin' ''me off, friend. laughs What's - what can I do for you? 'Cause I got ''substance, ''you know? I've got substance, too! I'm Larry. I-I'm Petey. So, whadda you want now? Where's the women, man? They're in my fuckin' pants. You know where the girls are. They're out where you live. Whadda you talkin' 'bout, homie? Talkin' about... the election, man. Okay, you're - you just, like - are you, like, on drugs right now? Why don't you gimme a ride? Where do you want a ride to? To Calabasas. What do you need to go to Calabasas for? For to vote. Okay. Where do you want me to pick you up at? I kick your butt, man. Where you gonna take the bus to? To kick your butt. laughs Come kick it! I'll kick it and flick it, dude. You can kick it and flick it and then lick ''it. So, uh - '''You can forget it, man.' Why? I experience growth, bud. What do you mean? You ready to peep my growth? laughs Hey, you so - 'member that Asian bitch? Shhh... Is she still there? Yeah. You lyin' right now, aren't you? Lyin' down. '' laughs'' You got to check out my, uh, ''growth.'' Okay, I'll check it out. What? Your growth. My growth, dude. Oh. Okay, I'll do that. What? Check out your growth. I got substance, and growth, doot. Under my belt, bud. Under your belt? Yep. Right on. Which I'm 'onna whoop at ya ass! laughs Oh. The ballot box, man. I got your ballot box. I - You -''' Under my belt. '''- wanna, uh, grip holda somethin' later tonight, or...? What's that? One chick, huh. Who's that? Where do you know me from? Shhh. That bathroom that one time. The bathroom that one time? Yeah. Where's that? That... salvage yard? Salvage yard? Alright, I'll - you have a nice day. --- Category:Election Category:Bathroom